Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, why is the film and television industry hellbent on destroying everything I care about in the world?

Wednesday the 16th of March, 2016, started off like any other day. The weather; reasonably alright and not shite, St. Patrick's Day preparations were well underway, and I logged on to Twitter to news that I've been dreading for a very long time.

Heathers, the glorious 1988 cult film about bitchy girls and murder, is getting a reboot. It's being turned into a television series in fact, a fucking anthology, just in case one series wasn't going to be painful enough to witness. It's joining the ranks of Carrie, Ghostbusters, The Craft, Cruel Intentions and American Psycho, in the land of perfect films that the film and television industry insists on attempting to improve because it's made of nothing but groups of unimaginative twats. I would like to think that anyone with an interest in reading what I have to say is smart enough to know that this reboot is a terrible, terrible idea, but in case you're an idiot, here's why it'll be awful.



First of all, you can't compete with the fact that the film is literal eighties perfection. The hair is big, the shoulder-pads are disgusting, and the music is stupidly dramatic and intense for a film set in a high school. Heathers does not deserve our great fashion, sleek hair, and it certainly doesn't deserve our obsession with technology and social media. The image of Veronica using an I-Pad to write about her murderous thoughts should not be searing itself into my eyeballs, yet it is. because I know that unfortunately, it'll soon become a reality. The Heathers will send bitchy tweets to each other, photos from the suicides will go viral and JD's suicide pact will take the form of an online petition. Heathers does not need to be exposed to our social-media obsessed world. By all means, make media that references cyber-bullying and the use of social media among young people, but at least make it original.

Not only that, but the basic bare bones of the storyline ie. JD and Veronica inflicting murder on classmates who've wronged them and making it appear like a suicide, and the ensuing obsession with suicide that grows among the student body, is not going to translate well when given the reboot treatment. The film is delightfully dark, but recent releases will suggest that the reboot is going to be more akin to Scream Queens. What was once an interesting social commentary on bullying, the herd mentality and the brutal class system of high school, is (probably) going to resemble a high school-set Scream Queens with stupid Whodunnits and campy yet gory murder scenes that will involve a different character being killed every week.

To finish off, the Heathers reboot will be awful because it's destroying and changing every single aspect of the orignal film, leaving it nothing but a shell of its former self that is only "Heathers" in name. From what I've read, they're changing everything, including the story, so the reboot is completely unnecessary, when they could have easily released an original series. Rebooting such a classic like Heathers is, like it has been with every recently announced reboot, unoriginal, tacky and shows that the film and television industry has truly run out of ideas.

First things first, I should state that I was ridiculously hyped for this film. Ridiculously hyped. As in, so hyped that even if it had so much as one line of dodgy dialogue, I was going to be upset and probably lose my faith in the film industry and potentially give up on my dreams. Seeing as I am still currently a film student and left the film with a renewed faith in the Irish film industry and in filmmaking in general, I guess you could say it was very, very good.

I'm attempting to not gush about how amazing Room was, but it was the first film that I have watched in a long time that I could not find a single fault in. The directing was great, the writing was great, the cinematography was great, everything was great. The actors in particular were absolutely brilliant, Brie Larson truly excels in the role of Ma and Jacob Tremblay was so convincing as Jack that I'm honestly confused and slightly angry that he was not given a nod for Best Actor in the Academy Awards. Both of their performances were absolutely heart-wrenching and their relationship was completely believable. There are so many moments within the film that will make you tear up and it completely boils down to the talent of the two leads.

Besides being completely heartbreaking, the technical aspects of Room are also great. The cinematography, production design, soundtrack and writing are all perfect. Emma O'Donoghue, the original author, penned the script and she proves that she truly deserves her Oscar nomination. Probably only noticeable by people who have also read the book, she completely strips down the story and somehow manages to make it better. The changes she made ensure that the impact of the film is even harder than that of the book's. The short periods of narration from Jack are also a brilliant touch. Ranging from funny to upsetting, they allowed us to see a very dark and upsetting story from a completely different and innocent point of view.

5/5

*Bonus points for the score. I may or may not be still listening to it as I type.

The Danish Girl, Tom Hooper's latest exploit, tells the tale of Lili Elbe, one of the first known recipients of gender reassignment surgery, and her wife, Gerda Wegener. While based on the lives of two very real women, The Danish Girl sacrifices actual truth for drama, and while Hooper presents us with an absolutely stunning film, filled with colourful and lavish characters, it ultimately fails to live up to the hype.

The cinematography, performances and soundtrack are what truly stand out in Hooper's biopic. Each scene appears meticulously crafted and every shot is unique. Many promotions for The Danish Girl describe each shot as "a painting" and I really think that this is an accurate statement. Characters are often shot obscured by various other objects, be it windows, veils or tutus, which adds a unique feel to the cinematography. The performances are unreal, which is to be expected from a film starring last year's Oscar winner and a rising star. Both Eddie Redmayne and Alicia Vikander shine in their roles, with Vikander's performance being especially stand-out, and the soundtrack beautifully complements the world and the story of the film.

The story itself is the one aspect of the film which I take issue with. I felt that it began strong, establishing the characters, their quirks and the relationship between Gerda and Einar. However, I think that the transition from Einar to Lili was handled badly. There are times within the film that Lili is depicted as more mentally unstable rather than someone with genuine issue regarding her gender and body, and thus becomes a very unlikable character. So much so that I find myself rooting for Gerda more than I root for her. The climax and ending is also very rushed, and the story almost falls apart towards the end. Following reading up on the lives of Lili Elbe and Gerda Wegner, I was also disappointed to learn of how various aspects of their story was dramatized and exaggerated.

All in all, The Danish Girl was good enough, albeit slightly disappointing. For something that is surrounded by so much Oscar hype I certainly expected more. It's a beautiful film, but at the end of the day, the story does not live up to what it is advertised to be.

4/5

It could have been great, it had Emily Blunt and Benicio del Toro, Rodger Deakins was the cinematographer, heck, it even had a cool score. "Sicario" could have been great, but it wasn't, and no, it wasn't the story, even though it didn't particularly grab me and it wasn't even the pacing, even though it was a bit off. The major issue with Denis Villeneuve's latest production is quite subtle really, it's something that I didn't actually notice until about halfway through the film when I realised that there was a complete lack of women.

Now I know what you're thinking, "but Emily Blunt's character? She kicks ass, in the trailer she has a gun and everything!", which is true. Emily Blunt's character Kate is an FBI agent tasked with assisting the CIA in taking down a Mexican drug cartel, and in the first few scenes of the film, it appears as if the character can really hold her own. The opening scene alone (which actually is quite cool) shows her leading a kidnapping raid. She's a cool character, but the problem is, she's basically the only truly fleshed out female character in the entire film. There are a few women dotted here and there, but only one of them speaks and when she does, it's for one scene. Now I've heard the argument against this, claims that there aren't many women in the FBI, and how women aren't that involved in the drug cartels. I will agree that there's probably very few high ranking women in the cartels, but there are female FBI and CIA agents so there's really no excuse for the fact that the film is a glorified sausage fest.

As if this wasn't bad enough, the one female character, ONE, is incredibly passive. The assertive and in control woman that we see in the first fifteen minutes is instantly replaced with a woman that stays in the car during an excursion to extract a prisoner. Kate *slight spoilers* basically spends the entire film being beaten down by the men around her. The most brutal scene occurs near the end, and involves Josh Brolin's character Matt kicking her to the ground and forcing her to stay down there, in a really uncomfortable scene that appears to slightly allude to rape in both its dialogue and action. It's completely unnecessary and only added to the discomfort and dislike that I felt whilst watching the film.

Watching "Sicario" served to remind me of a highly prevalent issue within Hollywood, which is its complete lack of opportunity for women both in front and behind the camera. Yes, most films produced nowadays are conscious of this fact, and greater effort is being made, but it's not enough. Female characters still fall into various stereotypes, and anytime that we are offered what is meant to be a "strong female character" she is either completely dehumanised and devoid of emotion, or else really isn't that "strong" at all.

It's finally that time of year again. Plastic spiders and skulls are freely available to buy in all discount stores, everything has artificial pumpkin flavoring added, and I'm able to go outside without melting into a pool of sweat and anger. Yes, October, beautiful, beautiful October is back and with that, comes a plethora of amazing films just waiting to be watched.

Now I don't like horror films. I fail to understand why anybody would like to purposely make themselves scared. Therefore, my top Halloween films are anything but scary, a little weird perhaps but blissfully free of jump scares and extreme gore. One of my absolute favourite films to watch at the time of year is Addams Family Values. One of the very few times the sequel is better than the first film, Addams Family Values is absolutely brilliant. Its dark, slightly adult-orientated humour is great and there's some excellent one-liners. As well as that, there's an absolutely top cast and Morticia and Gomez's entire relationship is actual goals.

As well as that, Disney classics such as Hocus Pocus and the Halloweentown series are absolutely brilliant. Hocus Pocus in particular is great to watch when you're older due to the high number of innuendos. Its quite funny to watch everyone freak out and slightly judge the main character for being a virgin, a story element that kind of goes over your head when you're a kid. Also what could possibly beat one of Disney's best series of original films, Halloweentown. Alongside Harry Potter, this was the main series that I watched as a kid that made me really want to be a witch, because you know, that's what all seven year old girls dream of.

Now if you're not really the whimsical, cutesy type, then I highly recommend Brian De Palma's Carrie. Based on the Stephen King novel of the same name, Carrie is an absolutely great film to watch on Halloween that isn't too scary or gory. Sissy Spacek plays the role of teenage telekinetic Carrie perfectly and her eyes are absolutely haunting. The film was made in the seventies as well which means it's gloriously cheesy, so while it's meant to be slightly scary, it really isn't.

So there's my top Halloween films, if you haven't seen them then I certainly recommend them to all. I'll definitely be overdosing on all of them throughout October.