The Big Problem With John Hughes' Films

"When you grow up, your heart dies", this statement, boldly declared by Aly Sheedy's character Allison in The Breakfast Club, is considered among many as a pinnacle statement of teen angst, summing up the turbulence, sadness, angst and fear experienced by teenagers everywhere. I however, thoroughly consider it to be one of the most ridiculously stupid lines ever uttered in cinema.

Yes, this is a somewhat "ranty" post, a tad more aggressive than what would be usual for this blog, however, it is a vitally important one, a PSA of sorts really. Almost everyone has seen at least one John Hughes' teen film. Their legacies have been ongoing practically thirty years, and yes, they are incredibly enjoyable to watch. At the end of the day, if a film such as The Breakfast Club, Pretty In Pink, Sixteen Candles or Ferris Bueller's Day Off was on TV, I would sit down and watch it. Nonetheless, and I may get crucified for this opinion, they are all completely overrated and worryingly problematic for things that are considered to be the bible for every angst ridden teenager worldwide.

I think what irritates me the most about John Hughes' films are the absolutely horrendous romantic leads. I am genuinely concerned with any person that considers The Breakfast Club's Bender, or Sixteen Candles' Jake Ryan (what a name), to be romantic dreamboats. Are we supposed to forget Bender's constant verbal abuse (and sexual assault) towards his so-called love interest Claire, just because he punches the air in triumph after kissing her? Why are fifteen year old girls lusting after this? Wishing that they too had Bender in their lives? WHY IS HE CONSIDERED ROMANTIC?

Oh and please do not get me started on Jake Ryan, Sam's high school crush in Sixteen Candles. Yes, Jake does not verbally assault anyone in this film, nor is he a criminal with extreme daddy issues, however are we supposed to ignore the fact that he gives away his passed out girlfriend as payment to a fourteen year old boy, under the assumption that sex will most definitely be happening between them. As if that wasn't bad enough, he also refers to the same girl earlier on in the film by saying "Shit, I've got Caroline in the bedroom right now, passed out cold, I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to". Wow, what a dreamboat, if only I could find a guy like him, this is what we should be aiming for girls and boys.

Going back to the subplot involving the character of Farmer John and Jake's girlfriend Caroline in Sixteen Candles. It physically pains me to think about that entire subplot, particularly because the film is considered to be so iconic. Towards the end of the film, Caroline awakes in Farmer John's car and it is revealed that they did indeed have sex. The very idea that rape most definitely occurred is quickly blown over however by Caroline asking Farmer John if she liked it, because you know, she can't even remember the event even happening. Farmer John quickly replies that she did and there's a big happy ending because obviously if the only person who remembers the act says that you enjoyed it, then it's all a-okay!

What bothers me is that all of this is considered normal within the world John Hughes' characters inhabit. Nobody questions Farmer John's actions, nobody recoils in horror at basically every word Jake Ryan says, and Claire falls in love with Bender.

I could go into much more detail about why I think that these films are overrated. I could breakdown the stupidity of the class division in Pretty In Pink on account of the fact Andie owns a bright pink car and therefore seems to be doing alright for herself. Or I could write about how manipulative and irritating Ferris Bueller actually is. I really sympathize more with his sister in that film. Or I could delve into my least favourite of all John Hughes' films, The Breakfast Club, and complain about how annoying and stupid all the characters are, and how even though they are dealing with problems, that really doesn't account for their stupid anti-adult outlook on life (Allison, I'm looking at you). Growing up isn't the end of the world, you'll be grand!

I didn't want to turn this blog into a hate driven hole filled with rage however, so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead, and end with a PSA: boys and girls, if you are currently searching for "the one", I highly recommend using John Hughes' characters as examples of what not to aim for.